Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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