If that was your dad, he is hot
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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