Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
