Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
