It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
