Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
