So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
