Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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