just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
