We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
