please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
