I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
