whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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