Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
