why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
