Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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