There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
