omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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