How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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