finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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