So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
