just come out here and I will go home with you...
I cockslap morals
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
