sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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