So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
