and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We had to coat check the pizza.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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