It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
