Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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