And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
