eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
