well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
