I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
