Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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