i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
