Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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