your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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