Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
