Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
