i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
