And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize