Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
