Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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