There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I bet he comes in French.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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