I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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