I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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