escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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