i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
