i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We have started to decorate penises.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
