If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
BRING THE BAGELS
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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