At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
