adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
