Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
