I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
