That's intense
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just had sex on a roof
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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